She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
