I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
