so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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