me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize