Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize