you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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