she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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