we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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