I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You're completely useless in the revolution.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Of course I have a pirate flag
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
try to milk me bitch
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