How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
