Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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