Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
