Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
