She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
