i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
