He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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