apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
