wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
