Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
