whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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