There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
