Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
