The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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