Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
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