the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
