is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
