he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
