Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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