A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
