just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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