the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
