I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
