I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
