Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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