ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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