p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
i need some magic done to my vagina
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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