your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
