At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
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