I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize