he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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