she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
It's official drugs can't kill me
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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