i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
