ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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