I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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