Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
