im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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