I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
