the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
