i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
