Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
