Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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