..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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