he puts the penis in happiness.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
