so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
