Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
nutella sex= disaster
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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