Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
