my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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