Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
