i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I should be sponsored by Trojan
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
