Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize