Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
